~ Daniel Merlin Goodbrey Presents ~

~ A Found Art Theatre Production ~

The Mongoose and The Weasel
 
 

There once was a mongoose
who fell in love with a weasel.

 

My love! -------
----------- My life!
 
 

And for many months they were as happy
as a mongoose and a weasel could be.

 

My life! --------
---------- My lover!
 
 

Then, one fine day, The Mongoose
turned to the weasel and said:

 

I have a secret to tell
you, my love, my life.
A secret, my life, my lover?
Whatever can it be?
 

I fear I have deceived you
these past months. For I am
not really a mongoose at all.
Then tell me, my life,
my lover - what are you
if not a mongoose?
 

In truth, my love, my life?
 
 

I am The King of Dragons.
 
 
 
Blimey! -------------
 

Tell me, my love, my life;
do you still care for me now
that you know the truth?
But of course I do, my life,
my lover. You are as beautiful
to me as ever you were.
 

Then let us be wed!
 
 
 

And so news of their marriage
spread through all the forest.

 

The Weasel is to marry
The King of Dragons!


Huzzah! -------- Huzzah!
 
 

And amongst all creatures
there was a great rejoicing.

 

-- Rejoice!
 

Rejoice! --------- Rejoice!
 
 

But then, on the day before
their wedding, The Weasel said:

 
 
I have a secret to tell
you, my life, my lover.
 

A secret, my love, my
life? Whatever can it be?

I fear you have been deceived
these past months. For in truth
I am no kind of weasel at all.
 

Tell me, my love, my life;
what are you if not a weasel?
In truth, my life, my lover?
 
 
I am The Princess
of The Eel-creatures.
 

Um... -------
 
 
But... -------
Tell me, my life, my lover;
do you still care for me now
that the truth is known?
 

...but eels are my favourite food.


Pardon, my life, my lover?
 

Er... of course I care for you,
my love. You are as delicious
to me as ever you were.
--------- 'Delicious?'
 

Say, what's that behind you?
------------- Wha-
 

CHOMP ----
 
 

I... wait... Sweet Jesus!
What have I just done!?!
 
 
 

News of the King's deed
spread through all the forest.

 

The Weasel was really
some kind of eel-thing!
 

Which The King of
Dragons has now eaten!
 
 

And amongst all creatures
there was a great bemusement.

 

Bloody hell!
 

Jesus... ----- That's fucked. -
 
 

And so it was that from that day forth,
no weasel ever dated a mongoose again.

 

Which is really only sensible,
if you stop to think about it.

 

But there you go.

 
 
 
The End.
 
A St George's Day fable brought to you by E-merl.com
in association with The British Webcomic Piss-Up 2