If mortal existence has taught us anything, it’s to always keep the receipt.
Hello, I’d like to return this microwave.
What’s wrong with it?
Haunted… by who?
Well, me for a start. And sometimes my wife too, when she wants to make popcorn.
So… if you return it, what do you think is going to happen to you and your wife?
I was hoping we might… you know… stop haunting? Altogether?
I’m afraid the management make no guarantees vis-à-vis the potential metaphysical benefits of returned goods.
Still… worth a try, right?
Do you have a receipt?
Okay, let’s process this and see if we can get your existence annulled.