*sigh*
Okay. Let’s start again from the top.

The map is a nice summary of everything we don’t know.
But what are the things we do know?

Well… we’re probably not Liechtenstein.

I’m sorry, you’re going to have to unpack that one for me.

Okay, so… the map may not show it, but we know we have a coastline, right?

Which means we’re not landlocked, so we can eliminate any landlocked countries from our inquiries.

So unless something really odd has happened-
We’re probably not Liechtenstein.

I wonder what the odds are of “not Liechtenstein” being enough to satisfy the King?
I’m going to say… “low.”