Also: Happy New Year!
A disturbing accusation has come to my attention.
It appears that one of us is, in fact, a woman.
Now as you all know, persons of the female gender are strictly forbidden from holding club membership.
So I must immediately ask any member in possession of a uterus to please step forward.
Well. It looks like we’ve got a sneaky one on our hands, lads.
I hear those are the worst kind.