Inanimate Monkey Adventures!
2: Bright Side
<< >>
Do you want to know
what else I hate, Button?
Oh Lord, not again...  
I hate only having one arm.
As if the cosmic joke that
is my life wasn't bad enough!
But no, God just had to
go the extra mile, didn't he?
"Gee, that inanimate monkey just
isn't suffering enough right now."
"How can I add the tiny little spark
of extra misery he's missing?"
"Oh! I know! I'll give him one less
limb than all the other monkeys!"
You know, you could try looking
on the bright side for a change.
There's a bright side?
Sure, look at it like this; you haven't
got one less arm than a monkey.
I haven't?
No! What you've got, is one
more arm than a human being!
Because right, if you could move,
you could use your legs like arms.
Because you're a monkey, see?
And humans can't do that. See?
That's it? That's the bright side?
But that'd only be true if I could move.
Er... yes.  
Which, of course, I can't.
Have I ever told you how
much I despise you, Button?
Moral: There Is No Bright Side.
<< >>