Randomly selected Earthling!
We demand you tell us the current location of your Earth leader!
Speak now or be disintegrated!
Wait! Okay! Um… do you… do you mean Obama or-
Cease your futile dissembling!
You know full well we speak of your Earthling In Chief!
The one all your pitifully twee transmissions refer to!
The omniscient judge of naughtiness!
The Dreaded Santa Claws!
We have searched your northern polar region but to no avail.
The Clawed One obviously employs advanced cloaking technology to shield his fortress.
Listen, I think there’s been a misunder-
Tell us his location now or face instant disintegration!
Have you… er… have you tried the local mall?
The Planet Of The Christmas Encounter
-alleria Shopping Mall lies In ruins today after-
Oh my god! Did you see the news? Aliens attacked the-
It wasn’t me!