What if we also throw in a free toaster oven and new set of kitchen knives?

Terribly worrying or terrible metaphor? Roll a six-sided dice and post the result to the comments thread or tweet it to @merlism. Rolls will be tallied on Thursday and the result shown on Friday.

It is with a heavy heart that I come to type the phrase “elephant jetpack” for the last… well, the last time until there’s an emergency, anyway.

Elephant Jetpack! Or… not? Roll a six-sided dice and post the result to the comments thread or tweet it to @merlism. Rolls will be tallied on Thursday and the result shown on Friday.

Sneaky stealth pilot for new spin off series, “Cromwell: The Elephant Whisperer.”

Name that Elephant! Roll a six-sided dice and post the result to the comments thread or tweet it to @merlism. Rolls will be tallied on Thursday and the result shown on Friday.

Dun dun dunnnn!

Apologise? Or not? Roll a six-sided dice and post the result to the comments thread or tweet it to @merlism. Rolls will be tallied on Thursday and the result shown on Friday.

Rest in peace, you glorious coffee pot.

To attend or not to attend? Roll a six-sided dice and post the result to the comments thread or tweet it to @merlism. Rolls will be tallied on Thursday and the result shown on Friday.