Seriously though.
If this was all a dream, how would we know?

Oh come on. If this was a dream, I’d have better things to dream of than you.

Thanks! And anyway, who’s to say I’m not the one dreaming you?

You? Dream me? Come on now… that doesn’t sound very likely, does it?

Maybe this is a nightmare and you’re the smug asshole that turns into an alligator and eats my homework in front of the whole class.
Pfft! You call that a nightmare?

Try waking up screaming every night because you’ve just watched your legs being eaten alive by a swarm of spiders that all have the face of Gérard Depardieu.

Young, sexy Depardieu?
Old, creepy Depardieu.
Brrrrr!