Free mug with every purchase!

What is it you’re selling exactly?
Poison!

What do people need poison for? Everything’s already dead.
Listen – the major thing holding back poison sales in the past have been the unfortunate side effects associated with the brand.

But now that everyone’s dead, we can all experience poison with fresh eyes!

Feeling a little low in the morning? Poison! Need to kick back and celebrate at the weekend? Poison! Just want to share a moment with a few close friends? Poison!

I’ll take three bottles.
Oooh! That qualifies you for this amazing free hat!