If mortal existence has taught us anything, it’s to always keep the receipt.
Transcripts
Hello, I’d like to return this microwave.
What’s wrong with it?
It’s haunted.
Haunted?
Yes.
Haunted… by who?
Well, me for a start. And sometimes my wife too, when she wants to make popcorn.
So… if you return it, what do you think is going to happen to you and your wife?
I was hoping we might… you know… stop haunting? Altogether?
I’m afraid the management make no guarantees vis-à-vis the potential metaphysical benefits of returned goods.
Still… worth a try, right?
*sigh*
Do you have a receipt?
Yes!
Okay, let’s process this and see if we can get your existence annulled.
Yay!