Tachelock: This buddy of mine – he really sold me on how exciting the whole tree experience could be.

Tachelock: He billed it as this constant slow-motion battle for resources. An epic struggle for space and light and moisture against a forest full of deadly rivals and viscous adversaries.

Sol: So how was it when you actually tried it?
Tachelock: Oh man. It was so fucking boring.

Tachelock: Everything was sooooo slow!

Tachelock: I just sat there all day, quietly photosynthesising and worrying about woodworm.

Tachelock: I lasted for about two weeks and then it was goodbye tree-mode, hello attack-helicopter.