I’ve got nothing to say to you.
Oh come on – don’t you want to interview me?

Heaven knows you’ve spoken just about everyone else in the kingdom.

I’ve been interviewing people who might have something relevant or important to say.

Two categories with which you have very little experience.
I happen to be the foremost expert on a range of subjects.

I’m sure you are! And how exactly have you been putting that expertise to use?
Well-
You fucked an aardvark!

I engaged in an important cross-species dialogue-
You span a wheel!

If it had come up “armchair,” you would have engaged in an important cross-species dialogue with a piece of lounge furniture!

I’m sure there’s a pun to be had on “chaise lounge” but I’m having a devil of a time finding it…
Get. Out.