Take a tincture of vinegar and Campari every second Tuesday.

-lots of brisk walks but try to avoid unnecessary oscillation.

Don’t think of it as a rash – it’s an abstract, modern art tattoo!

Do you know what hemlock is?
No.
Excellent.

Try disinfecting the hat with lime juice and then applying a poultice of lemongrass and cardamom.

Since when are you qualified to give medical advice?

Since people kept asking and the truth became repetitively dull.